The Promise of the Rainbow
It is still National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. Please check out my recent post to learn more about pregnancy and infant loss. Today, I am sharing Talysa McCall's story below.
“A rainbow baby is a baby born after a loss of a previous child.
It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope.”
It’s true what they say: You never think it can happen to you until it happens to you.
My husband and I were together for 8 years before conceiving our first child. Mind you we met at 16 and 17, but nonetheless 8 years. It wasn’t planned, but it happened. I had the BEST pregnancy ever with our oldest son Noah. No sickness, no heartburn, nothing out of the usual.
So when we decided to have another. We didn’t even second guess that it would be any different. But it was...
I remember going in for my appointment to confirm my pregnancy at a free clinic in Houston. The nurse confirmed it, I was about 5 weeks along, but showed signs of worry at the measurements of the baby. She told me to come back in at 2 weeks for a check-up. I never thought anything was wrong because my pregnancy with Noah was as smooth. I told everyone I knew as soon as I left the office that day.
I returned 2 weeks later and the nurse told me I was in the beginning stages of a miscarriage. Dumbfounded, shocked, and total disbelief is what I felt. How could this be happening? Why would this happen to me? My brother-in-law is an OBGYN so I went to him to have another ultrasound. He, too, confirmed that the baby was on its way out. I left that office and cried for hours before returning home. John was away at work, but I called and told him. March 9th, 2016, was my due date. A date I'll never forget.
We were pretty saddened about the miscarriage but decided to try again. We were successful. I got pregnant in November 2015. This time we decided to wait a little longer to deliver the good news to everyone. I suggested that we announce the pregnancy when I was 12 weeks along. This time I went to a different clinic. I had heard about a free genetic testing you could do to find out the sex of the baby. I had the test done when I was 7 to 8 weeks. This was about the same time John found out he'd be going on active duty and we'd be moving to Camp Lejeune, NC.
I was overjoyed! This meant a constant stream of income, health insurance, and a home. This was the best move for our family. We went through the holidays, still not revealing to the "world" that we were pregnant. January 2016, it was time to relocate. John went ahead of us on January 18th to get everything set-up. On January 28th, Noah and I boarded the plane in route to our new home.
A few hours after we arrived, I began to feel strange. There was a nagging pain in my stomach that wouldn't go away. It turned from nagging to intense in just a few short hours. I found myself curled up in bed just wanting to lay down. I thought maybe it was just a bit of jet lag so I went to sleep.
January 29th, at 2 am, I awoke to an immense amount of pain in my lower abdomen. I got up to go to the bathroom. I didn't even make it to 3 steps into the bathroom when blood started running down my legs. I turned and looked toward the bed and found John staring back at me. In that moment, we knew why I was in so much pain. We found ourselves in the middle of yet another miscarriage.
I cried instantly. Not knowing why this kept happening to us. Did I carry too many bags at the airport? Should I not have flown? So many questions ran through my mind. I made an appointment that same day at the hospital here on base. We never found out the sex, because the clinic messed up the blood work. August 12, 2016, was my due date. Another date I'll never forget.
After that traumatic experience, John wanted to give up. He was not there for the first miscarriage due to work. So actually seeing what I went through alone the first time, devastated him even more. He started questioning God, not having faith, he tuned out of our marriage and even life for a while.
In the range of one year, we experienced two devastating miscarriages. Our faith was truly tested. I won’t lie and say we trusted GOD the entire time because we didn’t. We doubted, we complained, we blamed each other, we lost hope.
This road of life is far from what we imagined it to be. We almost gave up so many times, but we remembered the promise of the rainbow, that God has his people. After our storm, that's exactly what God gave us, our very own rainbow baby, Cameron.
I would tell couples who experience the heartbreak of a miscarriage to keep communication open. Whatever you’re feeling express that to your mate. There’s nothing worse than feeling alone during a situation like this. Also, get healthy! Take the time to work on yourself. Physically, mentally, spiritually, in all aspects.
I knew I was ready to try to conceive again when I could think about the miscarriages and not have negative feelings towards them. It happened to me, but I got through it.
When I meet someone who has also experienced a miscarriage, I simply offer them a sincere ear. Not everyone will feel comfortable talking about it, but if you do meet someone who is, just listen to them. Be sympathetic towards them, but don’t victimize them. They are stronger than they even know!
-Talysa McCall
